Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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