I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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