If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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