I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
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I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
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The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize