if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize