Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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