So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
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He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
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I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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