Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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