Having a random hookup so left but love u
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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