3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize