My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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