ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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