i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
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his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
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Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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