The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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