You're my little dorito
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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