So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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