Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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