So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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