She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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