Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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