The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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