As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
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She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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