I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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