So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
this just has baby written all over it
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize