i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I have post one night stand depression
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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