Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
ugly people sure do ruin things
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize