Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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