I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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