I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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