can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
There's even glitter on my cock...
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