Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize