Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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