i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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