Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
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i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
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please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
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