She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize