Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
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I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
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Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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