I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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