Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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