you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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