i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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