Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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