im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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