How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize