Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
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In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
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THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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