do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
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