matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just took my morning after pill in the library
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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