i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize