did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
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Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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