Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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