I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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