I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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