I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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